Oh no I can't believe you said that...
An etiquette guide to talking to printmakers
Now please don’t take this personally, and in fact I’m sure it doesn’t apply to you, but someone really needs to write a guide on what not to say to printmakers. So…. well here it is.
I don’t think H. M. Bateman ever did a cartoon entitled ‘The Man Who Asked for a Linoprint in a Smaller Size’ but nevertheless I can see it quite clearly in my head. If you would prefer not to hear the sound of dropped rollers and shocked gasps, here are some common faux pas to avoid. (Believe me I have heard ALL of them).
1. “It looks just like a photo.”
OK so straight off I’m risking alienating my readers by starting with the one which represents the biggest gulf between what the speaker thinks they’re saying (massive compliment) and what the artist hears (how dare you). To be fair I hear it less since moving from painting into printmaking, but the only artists who will be truly delighted to be told this are the very small minority who strive for ‘photo realism’. The rest of us have worked for hours or weeks to create something that is not a photo, that is more than a photo, and that sees the world differently from a camera. If we wanted something that looked like a photo we would….take a photo. It would save a lot of time.
2. “I think I prefer the block to the print.”
Yes a used printmaking block has a beauty of its own, but telling a printmaker you like it more than the print is just rude. Try telling a chef that their dirty saucepan looks tastier than the plate of food they have just prepared and see how well that goes down – especially if they are Gordon Ramsay or Marco Pierre White*. Luckily most printmakers are less volatile than your average celebrity chef, but you should still expect a chill in the atmosphere.
*If you DO plan to try this, please tell the rest of us in advance so we can come and watch.
3. “Have you got this one in a different size?”
Especially do not say this if a printmaker has just spent 5 minutes explaining their process to you, possibly even showing you the blocks and tools used. They might cry.
4. “Where is the original?”
As above, the printmaker who has just laboriously explained the process of printmaking to you is likely to stare into the distance and go very quiet if at the end of it you still think their work is reproductions. (I recently had someone ask me “As your prints so often sell out, aren’t you ever tempted to sell the originals?”. This person had actually BEEN TO MY OPEN STUDIO EVENT THE WEEK BEFORE - and yes I am shouting).
5. “Oh yes, I did that at school.”
No, you didn’t. You really didn’t. Would you go to a book signing, nod sagely and say to the author “Ah writing, yes I did that at school”? (Actually authors, tell me, DO people say that to you?? I honestly wouldn’t be surprised).
I am sure there will be other examples I’ve forgotten and which will come to me as soon as I press send. I’m under no illusion that it is only printmakers who encounter inadvertent rudeness from well-meaning onlookers. What comments do you get in your line of work that set your teeth on edge? And what do you reply?
I should say that if after reading this anything has left you puzzled, you are very welcome to ask questions, but I’ve probably scared you off doing that so if you prefer you can slip away discreetly to have a look at the printmaking guide on my website.
It is finished
I haven’t chosen a title for my latest reduction linoprint yet, but ‘Shovelling Smoke Uphill’ wouldn’t be inappropriate. I started it in February which makes this by far the longest it has ever taken me to complete a print. That’s longer than I’ve even been here on Substack. Delay causes have included being in another country, York Open Studios, Printfest, injury (human), illness (human and cat), weirdly non-drying ink and just the slings and arrows of life in general. What’s more, because I work sort of freehand, these long gaps meant I kept forgetting what I had worked out in my head and I lost my way several times. I came very close to giving up more than once. I got the absolutely last layer down yesterday and the prints are now on my drying rack instead of in the bin which was nearly their fate.
Behold a wobbly and out of focus video of the final denouement.
It will take me a couple of days to decide if I actually like it after all that….
Onwards and upwards. I can now start work afresh on a new linoprint which will hopefully go a bit more smoothly. And I promise my next newsletter will be less grumpy, not least because we are now entering my favourite month of the year, which by coincidence contains my birthday - a particularly large one this year.
See you soon, with cake
Jane
Don't. Get. Me. Started.
I am currently exhibiting at the annual North Yorkshire Open Studios event and one visitor, in response to my monochrome drypoint prints of lighthouses, stated that he was: “waiting for coloured lighthouse cards”. Cards! Did he not realise that meant creating new drypoint prints and having scanned copies printed as cards. OK, I could reuse the existing plates; but I was rather taken aback!